Ouch.

It effin' HOITS.

Poetry

I'm not necessarily a big poetry fan. There are some poems and some poets I like, and then there are the rest that I feel relatively ambivalent about. I used to be a big poetry freak - Anne Sexton, Adrienne Rich, Marianne Moore. For whatever reason, I've been thinking about poetry lately, and I found this old one by Marianne Moore. Moore could get kinda romantic but she could also just say it like it is. There's a poem she wrote called "Poetry." It starts off like this:

I, too, dislike it: there are things that are important beyond
    all this fiddle.
 Reading it, however, with a perfect contempt for it, one
    discovers in
 it after all, a place for the genuine.

See what I'm saying? I like her a lot. But I actually wanted to post this one, called "What Are Years?"

What is our innocence,
what is our guilt? All are
naked, none is safe. And whence
is courage: the unanswered question,
the resolute doubt, -
dumbly calling, deafly listening-that
in misfortune, even death,
encourage others
and in it's defeat, stirs

the soul to be strong? He
sees deep and is glad, who
accededs to mortality
and in his imprisonment rises
upon himself as
the sea in a chasm, struggling to be
free and unable to be,
in its surrendering
finds its continuing.

So he who strongly feels,
behaves. The very bird,
grown taller as he sings, steels
his form straight up. Though he is captive,
his mighty singing
says, satisfaction is a lowly
thing, how pure a thing is joy.
This is mortality,
this is eternity.

Kechup.

Since last I blogged:

1. Turkey Day in Austin
Although it was a whirlwind, I got to spend lots of time with my Dad, Tim, Nik, Genevieve, and Karla. There was a brief reunion with Elise and Mary, and of course it was wonderful to catch up with Colin and Mehdi and Erika and Andrew and Meera and everyone else. It's always too short and too hard to do everything in one trip. Sad.

2. Visit from Ryan
Not only did Mr. Kangas come to visit, he actually saved my ass when I was teaching and was basically slave labor for the Rock Hall. Plus there was a lovely dinner with Reena and Cory and a date to the Art Museum and crepes at the West Side Market (my favorite place in Cleveland so far). Poor guy practically lost a limb in the cold, but it was super fun. And Patrick comes in January to sing! I win left and right.

3. Chapter.
I actually turned in a chapter. Ragged and incomplete as it may be, it gave me hope that I will not be ABD forever, that I might actually get out of here at one point. Who knows when, but it'll happen.

4. Review
I had my first year end review at work. I felt a little bad because I figured if I didn't do well at the review that I could just go back to Austin. I was almost secretly hoping that they would send me packing but alas, it was not to be. The review went really well and my over-achieving, perfectionist ways have thwarted me: I'm good at my job. *sigh*

5. Cold Running
I run with the Cleveland West Road Runners every Saturday down at the Rocky River Reservation, about 3.5 miles from my house. I take the bus down at around 7am and get there right on time to start at 7:30am. Two weekends ago was my first "cold" run. It was 16 degrees out. I was underdressed. I learned my lesson and did not (thankfully) get frostbite or hypothermic, and I will never make the same mistake. This past Saturday was a little better, and although there was the ice to contend with, at least I was appropriately bundled. They run year round, so I guess I'll have buddies to bitch with as the weather gets worse. Sad.

The good news is that Michael O'Brien spearheaded a running club, albeit long distance, with all the old peeps and a few new ones as we begin to prepare for different races. Elise & Rachel are training for Boston, Karla is training for the Austin Half, and Michael, Colin, and I are going to start training for the Madison Marathon, while Mary will train for the Madison Half. It's nice to know other people are going through the same training as you are. I'm excited. Half of my running group is training for Boston (fast bastards), but there are a few who are going to do Cleveland, which is the week before Madison, so I'll have other people nearby to do those 20 milers.

6. Holidays
I have been out of the country for the past three winter holidays. 2005 I was in Spain, 2006 and 2007 I was in Peru and now, 2008, I am in Cleveland. I did that for a couple of reasons. First of all, I don't have too much money to gallavant to other countries and I also don't have vacation days (blast that 9 to 5 crap!). Plus my dad and brother wanted to spend the holidays with me, so I figured I'd slow down and just do it here in the US of A. The trouble is that I hate doing Christmas without my mom. Since she died, I've only been in the country for two holidays. I just avoid it. Spain or Peru, Spain or Peru. That's usually my escape hatch. Sadly, not only do I get to confront this crap head on, I get to do it in my be-hated (as opposed to beloved) Ohio. And I think the reason I hate the state so much is that my mom's not in it. Physically, anyway. Sounds silly, but I bear a grudge. Stupid state. In the meantime, it's probably good to learn how to deal. I doubt I'll have the flexibility or the means to travel abroad every Christmas, so I should learn to deal now. And here we go!

Thrilling Thirties

Yup! I'm thirty. 30. Tengo treinta añitos. I'm now in the decade of grown-ups, but still young grown-ups, where I'm old enough but not yet old. Clearly I'm actually 12. Or 14. Alas. Regardless, my twenties were tumultuous, to say the least. I turned 21 while living in Spain, lost my mom at 22, went to Bali at 22, went to Ghana at 23, started grad school in Texas at 23, started going to Peru at 24, got my heart broken (really broken) at 24, got my master's at 25, took doctoral comps at 27, lived in Peru from 27 to 28, celebrated 29 in Austin, got a new boyfriend at 29, went to India at 29, and moved to Cleveland to start a new job at 29. There have been some serious ups and some serious downs in that decade, as with any decade, and I'm assuming that my 30s will bring more of the same. The difference is that I know myself a lot better now than I did then. I'm much more comfortable with me, myself, and I. I have grown and changed tremendously in these past few years, and I don't expect the growing or changing or learning to stop, I just expect it to come with bigger grains of salt and maybe some warm weather, if Cleveland would please oblige.

So I'm calling this decade The Thrilling Thirties. I will be graduating with my Ph.D. in this decade. Aside from that, who knows what this decade will bring? Hopefully another stint in Spain or maybe in India. Hopefully warmer weather. Maybe less anxiety about my professional future. Maybe a little dent in school loans, or even a car. I guess we'll see...

In the meantime, I had a wonderful birthday week complete with a visit from Nik, a lovely party with Cory, and snow. The snow was less welcome than the other two things, but it added a bit of adventure regardless.

And of course I still am ga-ga over Lenny Kaye. That may fade. It may not, but who cares? It's rock n roll, right?

Lenny & Les

Yup. After several 15+ hour days, we finally pulled it off. The 13th annual American Music Masters has come to a close. Lotta work? Yes. Exhausted? Yes. Hungover? A little. Starry-eyed? Just over Lenny Kaye. For those of you who don't know the punk pioneer Patti Smith, you should go buy her album "Horses" right now. She is known as the punk poet - bringing elegant lyrics to the aggressive style of punk tinted with gorgeous guitar solos by Lenny Kaye, her now ex-husband and still friend and collaborator. I have loved Patti Smith and Her Band since about the 8th grade when I was doing research on female punk musicians. (I had also discovered Siouxie, X, the Slits, and others, but Patti - perhaps because she was the most melodic and artsy - was my fave. And who doesn't love Lenny's fantastic solos that were just on the brink of being Something Else Other Than Punk? He is just too talented to play just I-IV-V chords.) Anyway, Lenny Kaye is on my list of people that I Go GaGa For Because They're Great. The list includes Prince, David Bowie, and Patti Smith. And of course, by extension, Wendy & Lisa (Prince's songwriting twin guitarists) and Lenny Kaye. And he totally lived up to my insanely high expectations. He is sweet, kind, funny, intelligent, and attentive. He thinks it's hilarious that I go so GaGa and he agreed with my list: he said he nearly fell over when he first met Prince. We hung out, we danced, he sang me happy birthday. And he said if ever Patti and I are in NYC at the same time, he'll have us both over for dinner. He loved the tecno-cumbia I played him AND my Halloween costume I showed him. He fully expects a draft of my latest chapter. And he was serious. I'm still reeling.

Although I am not a guitarist, I recognize good guitar playing. We had Slash, Richie Sambora, Dennis Coffey, Skunk Baxter, James Burton, Duane Eddy, Steve Lukather, the Ventures, and others at this show. They're great. But Les Paul? He's 93 and STILL playing like a maniac. He is hilarious and entertaining and sweet and a hell of a player. And I listened to Les Paul and Mary Ford growing up because my mom and nana liked them really well. And then all of the sudden I'm sitting next to him keeping him company while he waits to go on stage? How did I get this gig? Seriously. It doesn't seem real. It was hard, hard work. But it was exciting, and I learned a LOT.

And then Les kissed me on the cheek. Wow.

61 years young...

Today would have been my mom's 61st birthday. She would have griped about getting old and then she would have asked for me to take her to a dessert buffet somewhere where she could load up on chocolate and cream puffs and tapioca and ice cream. She had quite the sweet tooth. She also would have found it highly entertaining that I work at the Rock Hall. She would have asked to take a look at my drafts of chapters (even if they blow) and she would have edited the hell out of them. And even though I'm a good 6 inches taller, she would have pulled me into her lap and said, "Ka-honey, tell me about your day."

I wish I had a better picture of her, but she died before digital cameras got popular, and I haven't scanned anything lately. So this is my mom in about 1975, three years before I was born.

Love you, Mom.

*sigh*

I miss Austin and all the people in it.

Catch-up

It's been nutty lately. But quick catch-up:
Halloween was great. I went as
a) Zombie Pippi Longstocking
b) Andy Warhol / The Velvet Underground album cover
c) Sporty Spice
d) Chucky















Cory (my roommate) is such a zombie fan that she convinced me to really do it up. It was fun to be something gross and scary, although fake blood, liquid latex, and zombie rot get annoying after being on your face for hours on end. We (Cory, Reena from work, and I) went to a party on Thursday night and then there was the costume contest at work (for my part as one of the Spice Girls that was complete with choreography, we won "most creative" category.), and then there was a show somewhere in the flats (I can't navigate through Cleveland to save my life) and then there was a house party here in Lakewood. It was no Genevieve party, but it was good fun.

Fall was beautiful. It's kind of fading, it's getting cooler out, and generally crummy, but it was beautiful while it lasted.

This coming week I will be meeting Les Paul, Ace Frehley (Kiss), Billy Gibbons (ZZ Top), Lenny Kaye (Patti Smith Group), the Ventures, Slash, Richie Sambora, Steve Lukather, and others during our American Music Masters series. Les Paul is the focus this year and yes, he's still alive (he's 93) and yes, he will be playing. It's going to be a nutty week full of 12 hour days but it should be fun. I don't know that I've ever "wrangled" rockstars before, but I'm sure I'll learn. And for the pop music scholars among you, Steve Waksman will be here too. :)

After that, it's my birthday! And my boyfriend will be coming all the way up to frigid Cleveland to celebrate it with me. I'm throwing a cocktail party at my house on the 22nd and kind of half throwing it with Cory, whose birthday is the 24th. Fun fun fun!!!!

I ran 8 miles today and it was perfect running weather: 45 and sunny. While normally I balk at anything under 60, it was good for the run. I still can't remember or picture what real cold is like, but I'm sure it will be upon me soon enough.

And of course, the obvious: President Barack Obama. It just sounds good.

Proud proud proud proud PROUD!

The fourth of July has always been my favorite holiday, mostly because red is my favorite color, I love LOVE fireworks, and I like to eat summery foods. Rarely did my love of the holiday have anything to do with the actual holiday, our independence day. Perhaps because my Dad always brought people from around the world to our house (Sri Lankans, Kuwaitis, Japanese, Greeks, Egyptians, Indians, Spaniards, Thais) and I learned quickly about other countries perceptions of the US. (My Dad was the XO of many a Navy base, and ironically, I was always hesitant to be patriotic.) Then I lived abroad (1999-2000) when the Bush campaign was underway and it was nerve-wracking to watch another Bush come in and we had no idea the kind of havoc he would wreak. I continued to travel elsewhere, and lied about my nationality. (I'm Canadian, I'm Spanish, I'm Blah Blahian.) As many of you know, being American has its curses abroad - you are clearly loaded, snobby, love war, easy, back-stabbing, etc. As one of the least whorish, wealthy, snobby Americans out there, it was (is) sometimes awkward to confront those stereotypes. And then there's Bush, making it harder by the day to even want to live within the confines of this country. And along comes Barack Obama, who I must admit I did not take seriously at first. He was too young, too idealistic, too inexperienced, too intellectual. I doubted him for the first few weeks. I assumed that Hillary, a known-entity, would be able to handle it. The more I listened, however, and the more I researched, the more I learned. And the more I began to believe in Obama as a person, as a man, as a leader. He may not be able to change the world much in these coming years, and who knows how he's going to be able to keep his wits about him with the deficit, war(s), failing educational system, hatred, intolerance, and crap economy sneering in his face. But his pragmatisim, his sincerity, his normalcy give me great hope and excitement: maybe things can change. Maybe our government can serve our needs. Maybe our kids can have good teachers in good schools, maybe we can have health care, all these things that seem so basic and yet our literacy rates slide monthly and children die of the flu while their hard-working parents go bankrupt for the medical bills. I DO believe in OUR power to CHANGE.

And thusly, today, I am proud to be an American. Michael Moore, for all his silly antics, summed it up quite nicely here. And the world (India, Pakistan, France, Japan, etc.), documented here, celebrated the end of a bitter regime. Italy notes the change here. My friends from Spain emailed me congratulations and my friend Ivan even called me (I was in Spain during the Christmas holidays immediately following both the 2000 and the 2004 elections and the afermath wrath in Europe was palpable) to congratulate me and my fellow Americans on "not deceiving the rest of the world with stupidity and pranks. Again." (Gracias por no decepcionarnos en el mundo con estupidez y trucos. Otra vez.) For cheapo Ivan to actually make the call is pretty amazing.

While I miss the intellectual safehouse of university life, I am fortunate to work in one of the more liberal non-academic jobs out there. The Rock Hall is chock full of Obama-supporters. But what surprised me more than that was Cleveland - and more broadly Cuyahoga County - as a whole: 68% of one of the largest, most populated counties in the state went to Obama. The poor, impoverished, disenfranchised Ohioans of sad little economically-depreseed Cleveland decided that they have had enough. That it's time for CHANGE.

Yes we can. And in case you didn't see Will.I.Am's version, Yes we can.

I VOTED.

It was pretty emotional! I felt so...American! There were hundreds of people voting, and it was efficient and organized and just plain EXCITING. I choked up a bit. After I voted (ps. A family friend is running for state attorney general! It was funny to see his name on the ballot. I love him dearly, but I didn't vote for him.) and put my ballot in the box, an elderly man shook my hand and said "Best of luck to you. Congratulations on your accomplishment." Dramatic? Perhaps. But I think that he understands what a privilege it is to cast a ballot and participate in (a version of) democracy. It felt pretty cool.















Plus, then when I was running back to work (I did this on my lunch break - I ran there and back), the streets were cordoned off and cops were directing traffic. Why? Because the circus is in town! There were elephants marching up E. 9th Street! It's the best of both worlds - India and the US!















This is me and my friend Hubert who works at the Rock Hall! Behind us on the left is Rock the Vote - complete with Bow Wow!

Busy Bee

OK, so work has been completely NUTS lately. I've pulled a few 12-hour days at the Rock Hall in preparation for a teachers professional development workshop that we had on NEOEA Day (NorthEast Ohio Education Association). But it went well. Hard work paid off, and I actually got praise for a job well done. Who woulda thunk? It was fun, too, and I met some interesting teachers.

I'm not necessarily happy yet, but I'm less unhappy. Being busy helps. I cleaned the house today, ran errands yesterday after a hard run. I leave on Friday for Connecticut for the SEM conference and I really can't wait WAIT to see everyone. I just need my peeps.

Nik is coming up for my birthday (hopefully) and (well, our birthdays) I'm trying to plan fun, Cleveland-y stuff. Apparently it often snows around that time of year (late November) so we might even be able to squeeze in some sledding or some such nonsense. But then again, if global warming keeps, well, warming, we might be tanning on Lake Erie. You never know.

This election has me TENSE TENSE TENSE. Just as I believe vehemently that women have a right to choice and that I will never change my name if/when I get married and that air is partially composed of oxygen, I also feel that Sarah Palin is a bad, bad person who should not be in any office at all, let alone in the VP office. I can't shake it. Icky. Aaaarrrggghhhhh!!!! I think I'm going to vote early to save myself the undue heart attack.
















This is the coffee shop where I have been going lately to work on the diss.

Unhappy?

My counselor suggested today that I might be unhappy. I didn't think I was unhappy, exactly, just not that happy. Cleveland has yet to grow on me, and it probably won't at the rate that I spend thinking about the dissertation and feeling guilty when I'm not working on it. So not too much exploring has gone on. Running is about the only thing that keeps me sane these days. I don't think I'm unhappy, I just think I'm not content. I'm antsy (what else is new?) but it's kinda going to a new level. I'm super antsy, and anxious. What drew me to this exciting field that involves work that will never be finished? Oh yeah, the glamor. And the riches. Intellectual riches, that is. Work is crazy busy and then I get home and...I stare at the computer. Former professor and kind of friend John Hartigan had some words of wisdom when I ran into him at ACL Fest a few weeks ago: "It doesn't have to be award-winning. It just has to not suck completely. Who reads the dissesrtation? Six people: you and your committee. No one gives a shit, so get it done. Do it and call it a day. It just has to be passable, not genius. Worry about the genius for the book." I'd like to latch onto these words and take them with me every time I hit the computer, but the stupid perfectionism gets in the way. Plus I just miss Austin and everyone in it: friends, boyfriend, brother, the FAL, Barton Springs, the trail...I feel antsy here like I'm just waiting to go home. Boo.















The plus side is that my sanity (aka running) took me to the Cuyahoga National Park where I ran a half marathon on Sunday in 2'3" under arches of autumn leaves and next to babbling brooks and all that naturey stuff that is good for the soul. And the soles. Nice and cushy. It was a great race and made me feel really, really good.

Slash! Richie Sambora! Billy Gibbons!

Ok, so this is shameless self-promotion and "dude! I work at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum!" Les Paul is our 2008 American Music Master and...we're getting some badass guitarists to celebrate his life (he's 93!) and legacy. Check out Cleveland.com for one of the press releases! Kinda fun. Sometimes I forget I work here. And then my office mate is shooting the bull with Slash. Whoa. Should be fun! And then I turn 30 just a few days later! :)

I have a half-marathon on Sunday and I am really excited. It's the Towpath Marathon/ Half-Marathon and it's the only marathon run in a national park. The weather is supposed to be lower 70s and sunny all weekend, so it should be a perfect run. I did my last long run (just 11 miles...not as long as training for a marathon!) on Monday and although I was tired, it was good and I felt good. I'm ready for my first race in Cleveland.

I'm crazy busy right now and Genevieve's friend's band is in town and staying at our place. They are so sweet! It's fun to play rock and roll hostess.

Things at work are nutty but great. Teaching is good but exhausting. So exhausting, in fact, that I will finish this post at a later date.

Braces & Sunshine

I had a scary, scary, SCARY trip to the dentist a few weeks ago. It was a shady dentist who is probably just a front for the Polish mafia. I should've walked right out the door after I walked in to the filthy office reeking of cigarette smoke and decorated with 1970s brown stuff (dog, carpet, wallpaper, ceiling), but I didn't. And I regret it. But today I went to a REAL dentist and it was heavenly (who knew you could use such an adjective for a dentist?) AND he took out my bottom retainer! That sucker has been lining up my bottom six teeth for 15 years now, and it feels so WEIRD to not have it, but I also like it and am excited to floss. (!)

And as for the sunshine bit in that title, well, there isn't any here in Cleveland. Just cold rain. Icky, cold rain. And I don't have a car. Boo. I am wet and cold. And this feeling is only magnified after being in Austin for four days where it is sunny and gorgeous. The trail, Central Mark-up, friends, boyfriend and...sunshine at Austin City Limits music festival. Just a lovely, non-Cleveland weekend full of yummy, yuppie, Austiny stuff. I even hit up the library and Napoleon (the one and only!) checked out a "Library Use Only" book to me for a week! But now I am where the sun don't shine, and it's almost as icky as the real place where the sun don't shine. Poor Cleveland. Good city, bad rep, not Austin.

Grown up

I don't usually feel very grown up. I just feel like an old kid. Like I'm still 12 or 17 or so. Even though I have a job, pay bills, blah blah, I just feel like a kid. But I just started feeling slightly more grown up, and even so, I still feel like a kid who's trying too hard. I met the Cleveland West Road Runners for a run on Saturday morning down at the GORGEOUS Rocky River Reservation. (Towering pines, enormous sycamores, ferns, deer...there are over 30 miles of trails in the Reservation and they are gorgeous!) After a nice eight mile run, I joined them for breakfast at a nearby coffee shop. Lawyers, engineers, teachers, salespeople, accountants, chemists, technicians...these are not ethnomusicologists or anthropologists or Latin Americanists. It's a first for me to be surrounded by so many normal people. (No offense to my delightfully abnormal cohorts whom I love dearly!) And it made me feel so grown-up! I know, I'm a dork who's about to turn 30, but whatever! I'm no grown-up! And I like grad school because I can feign perpetual youth and intellectual bravado. But the real world is kinda neat too, sometimes. I still want grad school back, and I still want to teach at a university, but for the time being, I think I'm having fun growing up.

Run the Trail

No, silly! Not the campaign trail! The running trail. At Rocky River Nature Center in the Rocky River Reservation. I went for my first trail run last night with my new running partner, Matt, who has taken me for runs all over Cleveland and has been very encouraging. He picked me up from work and drove us both far west to the reservation. We met up with the Cleveland West Road Runners and hit the trail running. Ha! (I know, I know. I'm lame!) I've never done this before, and I half expected to break a leg or ankle or arm or head, but no! I was triumphant over the treacherous paths! And actually, they weren't that treacherous, but they were beautiful. It was me, Matt, Heidi (a hardcore trail runner), Glen, and Jim. I'm definitely the youngest! But it was just a blast - almost 8 miles of gorgeous trees and creeks and hills. There was one hill in particular that was pretty traumatizing - it was basically vertical! And of course I had to surge up it in order to prove myself (only Matt and I actually ran up the whole thing) and I nearly lost a lung and I gained two giant lumps in my quads - huge muscle knots. But it was SO worth it! After the exhilarating run in 65 degree weather, we went to the Great Lakes Brewing Company for beer and pizza and I got to meet a bunch of the other CWRR crew. It felt just great - hanging out with people that have generally just one thing in common: running. They were sweet and funny and easy to get along with. None of them will be my new best friend, none of them will come to my house for dinner, but a beer after a long trail run will happen regularly. I just love it. It made me feel welcome and healthy and happy. Cleveland has been a struggle for me, and this alleved some of my pain! I can't wait WAIT for the next run!

Cho

Ahh, Margaret Cho. How eloquent you are. And I commend thee, Sister.

Evil Palin

There's a reason why people label Sarah Palin as "scary" and "crazy." Read all about it here. Her penchant for favoritism, ignorance, and even book-banning (who bans books in 2008???) is appalling. There is good reason to be scared of her and what she might do should she enter office.

Pittsburgh and bugs

The bug part first. I never get sick. Ok, I rarely get sick. But last week I was struggling - sore throat, dizzy, headachy, achy...it was icky. I slept for twelve hours on Friday night and for those of you who know me, you must know that I'm an 8-hour-a-night girl. Nothing more, nothing less. But DAMN did I need that sleep! So now I think it's on its way out, and I'm just dripping lotsa snot. Ick. I know. Sorry!

















The Pittsburgh part is the more fun part. On Saturday afternoon, my friend Marcia picked me up and we drove to Pittsburgh to see Emily Pinkerton's CD release concert. Pittsburgh is gorgeous. Just stunning! The architecture and the bridges and the mountains and the river. I loved it. Emily played spectacularly - her new songs are gorgeous, and her musicianship is enviable. She played in a neat little venue called Your Inner Vagabond. Normally I avoid the hippie hangouts, but this space was pretty neat. It was covered in pillows and couches and Persian rugs with a sizeable corner stage and great sound. The atmosphere was warm and fuzzy and we had a great time. Then we slept in (late!) at Em's that night and had breakfast yesterday morning followed by a much-needed trip to Ikea. I got home and hit the sack because the bug plagues me still.

May Sarah Palin Kindly Stick Her Eye Out.

This is my curse. Please. PLEASE.

This NYTimes writer nailed it on the head here.

Oh, the glory!

Well, I'm not a sports fan. Although I can watch swimming or running all the time, and I can get excited about soccer during World Cup or when I'm in Spain or Peru, I generally hate organized sports. They bore me. And furthermore, it pisses me off how much money they make. Boo. BUT...I was raised by a Buckeye. A proud Ohio State University Buckeye who has been loyal since he started going to school there in 1962, finally finishing with an industrial design degree in 1968, I think. I've grown up going to Buckeye games, wearing scarlet and grey, cheering for The Best Damn Band In The Land, the all-brass marching band that spells out a human script Ohio, the best sousaphone player dotting the "i." I go to these games with my dad to spend time with him, doing what he loves to do: watch the Buckeyes play their homoerotic sport, tackling each other in nylon tights, slapping asses, bring the bread, it's a circus, we love gladiators. :) But I really do have fun. The sun burning my face, the popcorn and all its buttery margeriney glory crunching underfoot - it's just FUN. And so yesterday I drove down to Columbus to tailgate at 9am with my Dad and his friends - cute old people with biting senses of humor and lots of iced tea. Then we wandered around, watching the thousands (109,000) people dressed in scarlet and grey awaiting the game where the Buckeyes would slaughter the Ohio University Bobcats. Our noses bled, all the way back near the top, my neck matches my red shirts now, thanks to Mr. Sun, and I stood up with the rest of 'em when that one guy went running from one end of the field to the other, dodging the slower, fatter guys as he darted to the red-painted grass at, they tell me, the "endzone." Why is this so poetic, you wonder? Apparently football brings it out. Even though I hate it, if I'm at a Buckeyes game with my Dad, I love it. It almost makes me cry.

Roommates and Rockstars

Actually, this post has little to do with rockstars, except for yours truly, but I liked the illiteration. speaking of the roommate part of it, I really like living with Cory. We respect each others' space, but we still have dinner together and she came with me to work on Friday to see my "action office" and to meet my co-workers. Oh, and we toured the museum together too. It's funny because for someone who works at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum, I rarely actually spend time in the museum. I walk out from our basement offices and am often surprised: people! Beatles stuff! Hustle and bustle! We had lots of fun, and then she went to her office (just two blocks from the Rock Hall) and I went to mine.

But of equal importance was my visit to Austin this weekend. It was just great. I spent lots of time with my brother (which rarely happens) and with Nik, Karla, Genevieve, Colin, and Dan and Laura who were evacuated from New Orleans. Karla and I ran the Nike Human Race together; it was the hardest race I have ever done - 97 degrees, sunny, 90% humidity, and 6 miles of HILLS. But Karla and I finished 2000 out of 12,000! Not too bad. I met Nik's family - parents, sister, aunt, uncle, cousins at his grandmother's house for a lunch. They were all super sweet and easy to get along with (as long as I left politics at the doorstep). I went to Barton Springs, I trained my successor at the journal, I ate migas, I went canoing...it was a busy, nutty weekend, but a really good one. I'll be back for ACL, so that's exciting!

My advisor forwarded me a job posting at the University of Oregon. I could TOTALLY live in Oregon! But I need to finish the dissertation before anything else and work at this job for a while before I get ahead of myself. Boo.

Pillars of the Earth

So I meant to be more regular about this thing and it clearly hasn't happened. Oh well. I'll update you with what's been cooking lately.

First of all, of utmost interest, is that I have a roommate. My good friend Genevieve has a best friend, Cory, who was awarded a post-doc at the art museum here in Cleveland. She'll be doing research for a collection of miniatures they have here. She'll be here for about nine months and she initially stayed here while she was looking for a place to live. We found that we get along extremely well and have lots in common and similar standards of living, plus we both like to live alone and like our alone time. Therefore we really respect the other person's privacy and alone time and yet we can go grab beers together. As a result, we decided that it makes the most sense for both of us, as newbies to the city, slightly lonely and missing our respective friends and boyfriends, to live together. She has no furniture; I have tons. We're both kind of poor right now and could use the cheap rent for her / cheaper rent for me. We need company. I need a catsitter when I'm in Austin or at a conference or whathaveyou. So I have a roommate. :)

Second of all, I'm still not convinced by Cleveland. The weather is gorgeous - 86 and sunny every day. It's been kind of sticky lately, but I'll get over it. I went to the pool yesterday and just read and swam. It was delightful.

Thirdly, the job is going well. I've been charged with the professional development program we offer teachers here at the Rock Hall and this new challenge has required me to network in new ways. Also, a non-profit is launching an arts education program with eight Cleveland schools wherein arts orgs around Cleveland hold residencies, offer fieldtrip opps, and conduct distance leraning courses for these schools, all of which are k-8. The neat thing about this program is that we get paired with a school or two and actually get to know the students in it. Plus, we get to meet educators from all of these other fabulous arts organizations in Cleveland: the orchestra, the art museum, dance troupes, poetry groups, etc. It's pretty awesome to see the arts, including rock and roll!, flourish in such productive ways among young people. Fun fun fun!

I'm joining a book club with my old college roommate, Arlie. Arlie is a novelist and poet, and has turned me on to lots of fabulous authors including Jeannette Winterson, Ruth Ozeki, and Louise Erdich. So I thought this would be a good opportunity to read fiction while in the midst of the dissertation and also to meet other women in my city. And it will be. It's just that each woman in the book club gets to choose a book and sometimes it's a book that's slightly less, well, Erdichey than Erdich. And this month's book is Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet. Just the name - Ken Follet - elicits memories of trying to read in Spanish. His books were always an easy read, and I could keep up my bilingual chops when living in Spain. Well, I guess that sums it up. ;)

I'm going to Austin for Labor Day Weekend! Hooray! I wanted to go somewhere - I really wanted to go to New Orleans to visit Dan and Laura, but it turns out that I really need to get to Austin to train the new assistant editor of the journal, and also to dispute a library fine. Boo. But it's not torture; I'll be seeing my brother and everyone else, so I'm excited. And it's kind of funny because I'll be back in Austin in four weeks to hit up ACL with Genevieve. Woo!

Today I like it ok.

After a grueling morning and afternoon in front of the computer, trying to meet a deadline, I decided I needed to go for a run. At 4:00 in the afternoon. Yes, you can run in Cleveland at 4 and won't die of heatstroke. It was about 85 and sunny and I decided to go 25 minutes out, 25 minutes back, about five miles. I decided to push it slightly, because I was frustrated with my writing and needed to breathe hard. I ran down Lake Avenue and then down Edgewater Boulevard. True to its name, it is on the water's edge. And as I turned a bend, I nearly choked. All of the sudden there was a spectacular view of a beach, sailboats, the city skyline (I could even see the Rock Hall!) and this was only 15 minutes into my run! I kept on rolling, past a huge Indian picnic (I half hoped they would invite me to some samosas), past a game of cricket, a Puerto Rican cookout, tons of kids playing in the park, climbing trees and running around, past cyclists, dogwalkers, and down a hill to the beach. Right at Edgewater Beach I hit 25 minutes and turned around only to face the huge hill I had run down. I barreled up it, and was sufficiently out of breath at the top, making the run really nice. I ran back home under shady trees, watching the sailboats, passing the occasional teenager wandering home after a day at the beach. Today I like it here ok.

Today I hate it here.

Some days, I like Cleveland. Some days I don't. Most days I miss Austin. Today I hate it. Mostly because today it's pretty and sunshiney and there's an art festival in downtown Lakewood and I'm at the beautiful newly remodeled library working on a chapter. You'd think this would be a day when I love it. But no, it just makes me think of Austin and how the library in Austin is better, the art festivals in Austin are prettier, the sun is brighter, the people are nicer. Some days I just compare, which isn't really fair, but I don't care. I'm a poet, by the way.

In the neighborhood

So I live in a town just west of Cleveland called Lakewood. It's a front porch kind of place. As in, during a hot, summer afternoon, people are usually lazing on their front porches, napping, watching the world go by, relaxing, chatting, eating, drinking, playing...it's quite the gathering place after 5pm. Not many of these old rambling houses have air conditioning beyond a window unit or two, so there is lots of fanning and lounging. It's pretty neat.

Neater, though, is the diversity. Normally I ride my bike to and from work but today circumstances had me taking the train home. This requires a mile hike from the train station to my apartment. Well, I could take a bus, but it's nice weather so I opted for the walk. On days like these, walking from the rapid stop, I meander through these neat old neighborhoods, taking side streets and backroads to my place, looking at the architecture, the gardens, the kids, the porchers, as I'll call them. And on today's stroll, I heard several different languages drifting from different porches. Arabic, Slavic (or some kind of Eastern European something-or-other), Hindi, Thai or Vietnamese (not exactly sure which), English, rapid-fire Puerto Rican Spanish, and unidentified something else, maybe Romanian (it sounded Romance-language-like, but not Itallian or Spanish or Portuguese or French). A cute old Eastern European yelled at her grandkids, an Arabic woman called out to another neighbor, the Puerto Ricans were bickering about who was really winning the card game...It was pretty neat. Not something you see everyday. Well, at least not in cities I've lived in recently.

I met a neighbor last night. He lives in #3 with his partner and they are from California. He was rather open about his mother's current bout with cancer, his job downtown and his aversion to cars (yay!), and then he shared that he doesn't usually share this much but he drank a lot of wine. Kinda funny. Sweet neighbor, though, and he helped me carry my groceries up the rickety back stairs to my apt.

Big Picture.

So this is the BIG PICTURE that made my goodbye in Madison so hard. It's tough, because as adults, we tend to get more insular, or at least that's the pattern that I see. My family is small: Dad, Tim, and a great uncle and aunt. So my friends are my family. And just as it's hard for most people to be away from their families, it sucks for me. Genevieve was my emergency number in Austin and she's on my bank accounts. Everyone in this picture had a key to my apartment. Four of them have run marathons with me, one moved me to Cleveland, another supported me when my grandmother died, and yet another cared for my cat for 11 months. Family, dude. Family.

Back with a (meek) vengeance

A great record store in Cleveland.




Sorry it's been so long. I vow to make this a weekly thing, to keep you people in the loop, especially as my new 9 to 5 keeps me exhausted all the time and I get home from work and fall asleep. But a quick summary of recent turns of events:

1. I went to India with Meera from June 9 to the 30th. It was an amazing time. I had no work or research or school agenda. All I had to do was follow Meera around, eat a lot of unbelievable food, meet wonderful people, and see phenomenal sites. It was just an extraordinary vacation. I could DEFINITELY live in India (or at least Madras). Meera's family is so sweet and generous, and they were fantastic hosts. We started in Bombay, meandered via bus down to Pune and Lonavala, made our way back to Bombay to fly to Madras. From Madras we trained it to Bangalore and Mysore and then back to Madras. The food EVERYWHERE was delicious. I didn't get sick even once (mostly because we were very careful about water) and I actually gained weight. The weather was gorgeous, especially in Bangalore, a balmy 78 every day. Madras weather was just like Austin's, so no surprises there. And the "monsoon" season in Bombay was on hiatus while we were there. We went to a mehndi, shopped like fools, ate like crazy, visited temples, watched movies, sat around and shot the bull with Meera's friends and family, and generally relaxed. It reminded me a lot of Peru except that I don't speak the language and people were cooler and it was safer. I'm thinking about relocating to India after a few years at the Rock Hall. I loved it that much.














Me, Mitali, Vik, and Meera and the mehndi

2. Back in Austin, I made the traumatizing move to Cleveland. I had my going away shindig at my brother's house before I left for India, but I still had a good five days in between India and Cleveland. It was tough. It still is. But I was tempered by the fact that I would see most of my nearest and dearest at Michael's wedding just a short week later. So on the 5th of July, after a long day at Barton Springs, Nik and I flew to Cleveland where my Dad and his friend Joan picked us up from the airport and we spent the first night in my new house. [side note: My Dad, brother, and boyfriend loaded a van while I was in India and my dad and brother drove it up to Cleveland and unloaded it. Not a box did I have to lift.]

3. Cleveland. My apartment was filthy when I arrived. My landlord ran out of time, I guess, and didn't get the past 14 years of filth cleaned before a new tenant moved in. Disgusting. The first few days were mainly spent scrubbing. And scrubbing some more. The first week was exhausting because I started work on Monday, got home to clean, and then go to bed and work the next day. But a good distraction from missing Austin.

4. Madison! Nik (who is visiting for the first three weeks to help me get settled and whatnot) and I rented a car and drove to Madison for Michael's wedding celebration. Besides the absence of Laura, Dan, Elio, and Colin, everyone was there: Genevieve, Karla, K.C., Sonia, and of course, the bride and groom. We had a casual night on the lake on Friday night, and then a reunion run on Saturday morning. The weather was gorgeous and we went to an art festival during the day and eventually made it back to the Union on the lake for the festivities, which were perfect. Lots of drinking, an impromptu "best man" toast, lots of dancing and debauchery. It was a wonderful night. On Sunday morning, we headed out to the country to Michael's mom's house for a delicious brunch overlooking the woods and the countryside. Then the trauma: saying goodbye to all these people. Who I know I will see again, but I'm used to seeing them daily. It was really hard. Really, really hard. Phone calls and letters and emails aren't the same as "hey, let's go grab a bite in 10 minutes." Grrrrrr......
















5. Back in Cleveland. The job is good. My boss is just terrific and the opportunities are really great. I get to co-lead a seminar at Case Western in the spring, and we're doing more outreach (or at least trying to) to special needs kids. Chubby Checker twisted at the hall last night, and I get to meet all kinds of other legends in the industry. It's a great job, but it's really hard adjusting to 9 to 5. In the long run, I'm going to have to end up in the academic circuit for the schedule. No summers off at the Rock Hall. But a lot of great experience, and actually doing applied ethnomusicology. Who woulda thunk?














The Rock Hall.


6. Housewarming. So last weekend I had a housewarming get-together. On Saturday, Nik and I road our bikes down to the West Side Market, an amazing open air market indoors (which doesn't make sense, but it does when you see it. You feel like you're at a market in Europe). It's just gorgeous and exciting - people from all over the world selling produce, meat, handmade pasta, bulk spices, coffees, teas, bread, desserts...Lebanese, Brazilians, Cubans, Slovaks, Puerto Ricans, Iranians, Indians, Mexicans, Poles...just about everyone from everywhere. We ate crepes filled with blueberries, strawberries and chantilly and bopped around the market and the art fair outside. Then back to the house for a SERIOUSLY INTENSE cleaning session. Nearly two weeks and boxes were still everywhere, we still hadn't mopped the (disgusting) floors, and people were coming over! So for about six hours, we slaved and the final product was really worth it. If nothing else, my apartment is gorgeous. Stunning, really. 1200 square feet for me and my cat (and my man, or at least until Monday). Hardwood floors, 12 foot ceilings, huge windows, a window seat, built-in cabinets with leaded glass windows....really terrific.














West Side Market - the non-produce part.


And the party went over well! In attendance were
Kami, a good friend and former glassblowing partner who drove up from Columbus
Jeremy, friend from college who I've known for 12 years.
Savannah Rose, Jeremy's roommate (I stayed with them for 2 weeks back in May)
Susan and Greg, my work colleague and her NASA boyfriend
Alicia and Nick, an old friend I met in Spain in 99 and her husband
Anya, a great Russian med student who I met at the market earlier that day

It was a good mix of people, and they stayed until almost midnight. My house feels warm.

Nik and I try to explore Cleveland when I'm not working or dissertating or sleeping. We went to see the Hold Steady with a coworker and her husband at a venue called the Beachland Ballroom, which reminds me of the Parish. The Hold Steady are only OK on cd, but they're great in concert. We saw Chubby Checker last night at the Rock Hall. We ride our bikes to restaurants and the grocery store. (Honestly, it's going to be tough to be car-free here, but I am determined to do it, at least until November.) Cleveland is a really pretty city but a sad one. It has the largest numbers of people leaving it, more than any other big city in the US, even more than New Orleans post-Katrina. Economically depressed, Cleveland is trying to grow but to no avail. There are hip places to hang out, and neat venues and cool people, but they're kind of spread out, so you have to go find it yourself. If I had my dissertation finished, I'd be out every night. *Sigh*



















West Side Market.


And I think that's a (long) wrap. I'll be better about updating. In the meantime, here's to new adventures!



And for those of you who haven't met my man friend, here is a less than flattering picture of the two of us, but it's all I could find right now. Here's Nik!

Cleveburg.

So I am adjusting to Cleveland. I signed a lease on my new apartment today (see the gorgeous sunroom below and also the outside of the apartment building, built in 1917). The landlord is a young, hip dude (seriously. He's a DUDE.) and is pretty easy-going. The location is superb: two blocks from Lake Erie, 10 blocks from a gorgeous park, 6 blocks from a grocery store, 1 block from the strip with all the restaurants and stuff, and the bus stop that goes STRAIGHT to the Rock hall is right in front of my front door. It has two bedrooms, a new kitchen (with marble countertops), a dining room with built-in bookshelves with leaded glass doors, a big living room with a mantle, and a SUNROOM. Heat is included, and the windows are energy-efficient anyway. Oh, and there's a bathroom. It's on the third floor and it's a quick 25 minute bike ride to work. Wow!



































Work is good. I rode my bike to work today, and it was a great ride. Half of it is along the lake and while it's windy around there, it's gorgeous. I got to work nice and early and got ahead of some stuff for today. A big funder came to observe our classes today, so we really had to do well and be efficient. Everything went smoothly. This is seriously a dream job: ethnomusicology, rock and roll, design, education, organization, cool people. What else could you possibly want? If it had a glass studio and was located in Austin, it would be heaven. My coworkers are SERIOUSLY awesome. My boss is great, and funny, and really genuine. We get along very well. I feel like I've been working here for ages. And there are perks too: Matt Pinfield is giving a talk tomorrow night and I get to meet him. Cool!
















Here's a picture of the Rock Hall. This is actually the back, but I like the angles a lot. The view from the hall is gorgeous. It's literally built into the lake, so you can see water for miles. And it's right downtown so you can really see the neat, industrial, neo-gothic architecture at every turn.

I'm doing well but I can't WAIT to get back to Austin on Saturday night for Michael's party. I miss everyone so much. And Friday is the anniversary of my mom's death, so clearly I would rather be with my friends in Austin. Although that will partially come true: I see Emily Pinkerton on Friday evening. Hooray!

All Growed Up

So this morning, I got up at 7am, took a shower, got dressed, and walked to the diner down the street to buy orange juice (ok, maybe I'm not THAT grown up) and then crossed the street to the Rapid station to wait for the train. The train came, I listened to Willie while looking at Cleveland as it whizzed by me, and then I got off at the Tower City stop in the middle of downtown. I walked the seven or eight blocks from the stop to work, down Superior Avenue, east on St. Claire, north on E. 9th until I got to the Rock Hall around 8:30am. I walked in, activated my badge and went to my office space (more than a cubicle, less than an office) and set up my rockhall account. I accompanied Susan, the education programs director, up to the auditorium where we set up the hall for the lecture that would first be 5th and 8th graders and then would be 7th graders at a later class. She lectured; I watched. I walked to lunch at a place called The Galleria where I had carrot curry soup and a mediterranean salad with freshly baked bread while I read the NY Times. I walked back to work, organized my office space, finished signing all the insurance forms and whatnot and then had a meeting with my boss Jason about the lecture that I'm going to give tomorrow (hooray!) and then I met with the human resources girl, Holly, who tried to explain the retirement plan they have that I only kind of understand. At about 5:45 I deactivated my badge and walked to the Rapid station. I hopped on the train, looked out the window and talked to Karla on the phone, and got off at 117th and Madison. I swung by the Dollar Store to buy some shampoo and then walked back to Jeremy's apartment. We drove my rental to Nature's Bin to go grocery shopping and then stopped by a Lebanese joint for falafl and babaganouj (yum!). We ate, drank some wine, shot the bull and then I called about apartments. I checked my email and now I'm going to bed (at 10:25pm).

This is currently my life.

Last name throwdown again...

I found THIS to be very interesting.

Changes Part 2

I am moving to Cleveland, Ohio to work at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum (the funny-shaped white building a little to the left there) teaching rock and roll. I will do my best to stay with my boyfriend, Nik, during this process and we'll see what we can work out. I go to Cleveland this coming Monday for 2 weeks to get oriented to the job, I get back here on May 24, go to a few weddings, start packing, and then on June 9 I go to India for three weeks with Meera. I get back from India and move to Cleveland during the 4th of July weekend. And then I will be an Ohioan again.

Wow.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

1. I love Austin (no change there, it's just related to the below changes and potential changes)

2. I may move to Cleveland for a cool job.

3. I have a dating associate. Aka "boyfriend."

Wtf?!?!?!?! When it rains, it pours.

Pro-Crast-I-Nation!

I guess I blog to procrastinate. I need to be writing more. Bad text is better than no text, says Robin Moore. I think he's right. This stuff needs to happen. It needs to FLY. I need a rigorous schedule during which nothing but WRITING happens.

Good news: I set up a phone interview with Ruth Karina, the first major cumbia star from Iquitos!
Hooray! Of Euforia fame, she drove Amazonian cumbia to the top of the charts (and actually, there are no charts, but it's the best analogy I can think of) and she is SUPER important in the short history of tecno-cumbia, toadas, and chicha. And I get to interview her this weekend! Hooray for me!

The Pope

OK, I'll admit it. I was raised Catholic. And I play the Catholic card when in South America...it often helps. I still believe in God, although I have serious issues with the Catholic Church and only go to mass...well, when I'm playing a wedding. Or attending a wedding. And occasionally for the music, if it's gonna be good.

But I never held stock in the Pope, and this one far less than the last. And here he is, in all his hypocritical glory, trying to make it look like he sympathizes with these victims of sexual abuse, when a lot of those priests never even got fired in the first place - they were just moved to other dioceses far away! Can you believe that? And he makes it look like he's all supportive and whatnot. Are you kidding me? Why is it that most child molesters end up in prison and have to live a good 2 miles from a grade school and these guys just get to start over, albeit in Nebraska or something. My proposal for the Catholic Church? (One among many, but my beef today will be brief.) Let priests get married or cohabitate with their partners. And let women be priests. No small task, I know, but jeez louise!

No no drama!!!

Honestly, Peru was nothing but drama. Some good, some bad. But here, in ATX, there is no drama. Except last night when Sonia and I went to see Carmen by Bizet. Now, THAT'S drama! For real! Why doesn't Don Jose get a clue? Geez. Get over it. And don't kill someone just because she doesn't like you back. Not that I'd date a matador; I'd worry my lover would be at death's door every time I ate a hamburger. Really.

But it got me thinking about the drama that exists in Peru (or maybe it's just the jungle). A lot of people thrive on it. Maybe it's because it's a small city. Or maybe it's related to the concept of survival. Or maybe it's leftover defense mechanism from the violent colonial days. Or maybe it's a result of the colonial days; maybe it was the Spaniards that dug the drama. Regardless, there's so much of it, it'll make your head spin.

And it's funny, because the drama that I have in my life here in Austin is hardly drama. I fractured my foot and couldn't run for six weeks. Pretty dramatic for me. And then there's always the stupid dissertation drama, but that couldn't be more boring. The anxiety is what makes it halfway exciting, on the other hand. My herbs are growing and flourishing. Really, I have no drama. Except for the occasional opera. Stupid Don Jose. And sexy Carmencita. Could Bizet have exoticized the Other any more? Probably not. Maybe if he made them walk around with little coins hanging off their skirts. That's a costume design thing, though.

Drama? Academics definitely have drama, but they bring it on them own damn selves. Dude, we're not Doctors Without Borders. Get over it! Seriously, all the Don Joses of the Ivory Tower. If I ever become a petty, obsessive professor, will someone slap me please?

Water and Sunshine

Warning: long, rambling mediation about water to follow. Read at your own risk!

Ok, so I'm a Scorpio, which is apparently a water sign. And that's no surprise for me. My mom and Nana were also Scorpios and HUGE water babies. My mom was a water ballerina and swam in some pretty fantastic competitions, and she grew up on beaches (as did my Nana). I had always lived near water until we moved to central Ohio and I think that was my big beef about living there. I need water. I work in the Amazon for crying out loud! Water EVERYWHERE! And it's funny, because I don't drink nearly as much water as I should, but I like being around it, in it, looking at it, dipping my toes in it, running by it, swimming in it, tubing in it, whatever. And with that whole schtick comes SUNSHINE. I love sunshine. I'm not going to tan outside for hours on end, but just to be in the sunshine on my bike or better yet, while in water, is thrilling for me. I really believe that my mom became a teacher not only because she loved kids and was good at it, but also because she got those three precious months of water and sun in the summer time. And now that Austin is all springy and neon green, it makes me want to be outside or outside and in water or near water that much more.

So yesterday I went to swim at the outdoor lap pool at Gregory Gym at 12:30 in the afternoon. It was sunny and breezy and beautiful. The best part was looking at the reflection of the sunlight on the floor of the pool as I was swimming. When my hands broke the water, they looked like water bugs, skating on the bottom instead of on the surface. I need / want / cannot live without WATER. Which is why I'll never take a job in Nebraska. At least Cleveland has Lake Erie. Austin has Town Lake. Peru has the Amazon.

Here's my ranking, from favorite to least favorite bodies of water:
1. The Ocean.
It always changes, is never the same, smells wonderful, gives new creatures, sand, shells, tides every day. The same beach never looks the same from day to day. The changes are sometimes subtle and sometimes extreme, but Lord knows I love the ocean. Especially the Atlantic, but that's probably because I have spent the most time in it. My family is from an island in Rhode Island, and I know those beaches like the back of my hand.














Third Beach, Middletown, Rhode Island


2. The River.
Rivers are extraordinary. Smaller oceans, really, because they change regularly too and they also have currents. Of course the changes are slower, but they're there. The nice thing about a river is that the water is never stagnant, like what will often happen with a pool, pond, or small lake. I like knowing that new water is there all the time. And in the Amazon, every river is completely different from every other river. Some have black water, some have brown or green or clear water, some are fast moving, some are slow, some have shores some go right to the trees. It's pretty neat.














Nanay River, Santa Clara, Iquitos, Peru




3. Big Lake. Big lakes (like Lake Michigan or Erie or Titicaca) are cold and BIG. I like the size; nothing can stagnate, and you can't see to the other side. Really nice for sailing safely.

4. Big Lagoons or Big Pools or Big Quarries. For me to feel comfortable in a lagoon, it has to be pretty sizeable. I'm anti-leeches and I don't like too much icky mud between my toes. Icky mud to a minimum, please. But the big lagoons of Iquitos are great because they are really deep and cold and predictable. Barton Springs is right here, although I would put it at the top of my list in terms of actual sites to go; it's extraordinary. I do love it.














Zungaro Cocha, Iquitos, Peru
















Barton Springs, Austin, Texas



5. Pools. With Chlorine. I like pools. A lot. Even with chlorine and no nature. Mostly because I like the light on the bottom of the pool.














Lion's Club Pool, Iquitos, Peru


6. Creeks. Creeks are actually nice, but you can't often swim in them. But I like wading in them or skipping stones in them. There are some creeks in central Austin that you can swim in, and they are pretty magical and otherworldly.

7. Ponds. Actually, I don't like ponds.

I can't believe I just spent all this time on a meditation about water. I'm a dork. But that swim yesterday inspired me! I love love love love LOVE being in or around water!

I LOVE THIS CITY!

Today began with hot yoga. It continued with a trip to Old Navy. And then RunTex super sale (using my Christmas gift certificate). And then Town Lake. And bluebonnets. Listened to some music at Waterloo Records, rode some of the greenbelt. Nap, dinner with Tim and Erika. Schoolwork. Ice Cream. Bed.

Ahhhhhhh........

Weather or not...

Well, I think Austin's dreary weather of late has been getting to me. I'm not sure if it's that or just the regular old down-droddenness that comes with slacking off on the ole diss. Regardless, it's been more of a challenge to remain upbeat, or at least for the past two days. I stress out at the littlest thing. Alas...

I sometimes get in these moods when I just need new music. I almost biked to Waterloo records yesterday in the middle of the day just to buy a new CD, even though I don't exactly have money to be burning on that kind of stuff right now. I've spent a good amount of change lately, on all kinds of crap, and I was really living quite frugally for some time. Monk-like, really. With this India trip coming up in June, I can't quite afford to be blowing cash all over the place. Boo.

I had a wonderful time last night with Meera, Mehdi, and Seetha. It was nutty because we all had different cravings for dinner and couldn't settle on a place. So we ended up at Whole Foods where Mehdi bought pizza, Meera bought a salad, I bought Indian food, and Seetha bought roasted chicken. We had been craving s'mores and lo and behold, Meera pops up with tealight candles, yummy dark chocolate, organic graham crackers and natural marshmallows (who knew such a thing existed?). We roasted our s'mores right there on the Whole Foods patio and shot the bull until 11:30pm. Wow! You can tell I'm not running these days; I can NEVER stay up that late on a school night!

Sunday night was fun, too, because we (Meera, Nik, April, Michael, and I) headed to Ryan and Patrick's for a wonderful cookout complete with stuffed crabs, tofu kebabs (thanks to the ever thoughtful Nik), goat cheese, basil, & portabella salad (go Meera!) and steak and watermelon. It was a feast and it was the perfect end to a weekend. So good to spend time with old friends.

And boardgamers among you, beware! I am obsessed with Settlers of Catan. It rocks.

The Fam-damily & Other Updates

So my brother, Tim, his girlfriend of four years, Erika, and her younger sister, Robin all live in Austin now, and a few weeks ago we ate brunch with my cousin Andrew, his best friend John, and one of my nearest and dearest, April. It was a wonderful time, just laughing and telling stories and talking politics and shooting the bull. I just love LOVE having him in the same town! It makes me feel great to say he lives here and I just saw him last night. I really love it. I have family! Here! In Austin!

I visited Dan S., Laura W. and their baby, Elio, a few weeks ago and it was such an ideal vacation. Instead of having to shuffle from site to site, trying to absorb everything of, say, New York or San Fran, we just sat back and shot the bull and relaxed. They live in Williamsburg, Virginia where there really isn't too much to do, and so we had a ball just playing board games, cooking, and hanging out with adorable Elio. It was so much FUN.















And I managed to fracture my foot about a week before leaving for Williamsburg, so that made the vacation that much more fun! Ha ha! I'm such a klutz.

Lately I have been missing Peru. My people there, my life there, the sunshine there. I feel a pretty deep commitment to the Amazon, and it has really become a part of me. Although I had plenty of bad experiences there, in all it was just so...strengthening. I really miss it.

So many weddings this summer! Jen and Carlos in May, Tommy and Selina in June and Michael and Julia in July! I guess we're all growing up...

Rodham

Seriously, Hillary, who do you think you're kidding? This woman was always Hillary Rodham Clinton. She ALWAYS sporting the maiden-name-as-middle-name thing. It was her thing, her "I'm a liberal and a feminist" thing. But please note how she dropped it in her presidential race...to ride the shirttails of her husband, perhaps? Or worse, to seem more attractive to more conservative, wealthy women who would like to consider themselves liberal but are more comfortable with a woman who is solidly her husband's wife? I think she is just getting on my last nerve these days, so every last thing bugs me. And here I am, supposedly writing Chapter 2 and yet listening to the debate at the same time. C'mon, Barack, you can do it! Barack and roll! (ha ha ha!)

Hope.

Hope is a dangerous thing. It makes you think things are possible and if they aren't, it sucks. Hope can also be pretty thrilling, and it can carry you through tough stuff. Right now, I am (cautiously) hopeful about a few things:

1. That Barack Obama will win. My friend Genevieve and I have discussed how we will probably cry big alligator tears if he doesn't. It will be so disappointing, honestly, and I can only hope that if my hope doesn't pan out, I won't be too let down.

2. That I can make this dissertation magic happen. I really need this hope to pull me through, because I have a lot riding on it, including the approval of my advisor and my future career. No pressure.

3. That my finances don't get sticky. Not having a car has helped me save some cash, not only because I'm not spending on gas, car insurance, or maintenance, but also because I'm not getting in a car to go to Target or other places where I spend money. It's been a good thing, so here's hoping I can maintain my fiscal frugality and sustain myself without loans until I graduate with the ole Ph.D.

Here's hoping...

Ran dat.

Yup, I have now completed my third marathon. Three! Somehow it feels more real now that I'm a marathon runner. The first one was kind of a fluke, like I'm just testing this, to see how it works and if I can do it. The second one was more like, well, let's try it again to see if I'm allergic to it or if I can do it again. The third one was a big ole heck yeah, I run marathons. Three, actually. And two half marathons. And many a 10k, 5 miler, and 3k just for kicks. And now I really AM a runner.

The race was great EXCEPT for the five bathroom breaks. Dude, uncomfortable! I had stomach cramps until mile 18. The good thing was that those last 8 miles were awesome, mostly because I was finally in the clear, if you catch my drift. I finished in 4'44", which I don't think is too bad considering a good 22 minutes were spent in the port-o-john. Anyway, can't wait for Chicago this year and now (once my quads no longer buckle under my weight) I'm going to concentrate on strength-training. Heck yeah!

And for a quick political info moment:

I wanted to let you know that Texas has a unique two-step process of an open primary AND caucus. Voting in the primary DOES NOT GUARANTEE a delegate vote; you must ALSO vote in the caucus that opens at 7:15pm (for Democrats; 8:00pm for Republicans) on March 4th (after the primary closes). Please be sure to find out where your primary precinct polling place is (you participate in the caucus at the same place where you vote in the primary) to sign the affidavit in the caucus. No lines, no mush - you just have to sign your name. It seems like a pain to vote twice in the same day at the same place, but you can avoid that by VOTING EARLY until February 29. You will still need go to your polling place after 7:15pm on Tuesday, March 4 even if you vote early in the primary.

Early Voting Places
http://www.co.travis.tx.us/county_clerk/election/20080304/early.asp

For information about what number your precinct is for the March 4 primary, please see
https://team.sos.state.tx.us/voterws/viw/faces/SearchSelectionPolling.jsp

and cross reference that precinct number:
http://www.co.travis.tx.us/county_clerk/election/20080304/polls.asp

And for a breakdown of how the delegates & super delegates are distributed throughout Texas, please see
http://www.lonestarproject.net/


Thank you,
Kathryn

12 days and counting

So, the AT&T Austin Rock and Roll Marathon is just around the corner - in 12 days, to be precise. Sunday, February 17, 2008 I will be running 26+ miles for 4+ hours in 50F+ temperatures with 100+ attitude! Bust it. I am really excited for the race (my third marathon! Hooray!) but I am also eager to get it over with. Long (and 15+ miles constitute as long) runs on Sundays tucker me out, and my nerves are getting on my nerves too. The forecast is up and it looks like it'll be around 48 when we start and about 74 when we finish. A bit warmer than I would like, but at least it's no horror story like Chicago this past year. Marathon running makes me feel alive, challenged, excited, happy, and fit. I really love it! This year, I am going to dedicate each mile to a friend (i.e. Mile 1 is for April, Mile 2 for my brother, etc. Mile 26 will go out to my mom for sure!) and hopefully that will keep me distracted from the pain of running 26.2 miles!

In the meantime, on the dissertation front, it's hard not to think that I'm a fraud. I just wonder if people have been pushing me along, shuffling me into completion of this degree. I feel underqualified and unfit to be finishing a Ph.D. and to begin to even contemplate a job market. I know that this is the typical anxiety that plagues all Ph.D.ers, but it's really eating at me. As are the guilt and desperation to do well and finish! Damn this road is a long one.