Friday, December 30, 2011

Up and coming

New Year's resolutions are dumb. We never stick to them, and since time technically doesn't even move linearly, they're pointless anyway because there's not really going to be a new year but rather our silly marking of time in lives. How's that for fatalism? Regardless, here are my resolutions:

1. Learn the Periodic Table. I don't know why, exactly, but I think it's important to know some things. To have them in your back pocket should you be in a MacGyver episode where you need to read what's on the toothpaste tube and then make a puppy out of it so you can escape with your puppy. At any rate, I'm trying to learn what this stuff is that makes up our galaxy and all the crap in it.

2. Learn the Countries of the World (and their capitals). Same here. I used to know this stuff, but then I forgot it. While I could probably name most of the world's countries, I most definitely could NOT name their capitals. Once again, I think it's important to know this stuff.

3. Practice Yoga or Pilates at Home (at least twice a week). I have found that yoga makes me a better runner and pilates makes me stronger in general. Why wouldn't I do this? Mostly to watch another episode of Community or to read the New Yorker, which are both important pursuits, but they can happen not during the hour or so that I should be strengthening and lengthening.

4. Earn Good Credit. This is a trickier one, and it's one that's not so much a resolution as much as a MUST GET THIS DONE kind of urgent matter. This involves getting my finances in order, establishing a no-nonsense budget and really working toward becoming a grown-up.

5. Draw More. I used to draw all the time. I couldn't hold a pen in my hand without intricate doodles taking over every notebook and post-it. Then grad school came along and sucked my creativity and will right down a sticky pipe that leads to nowhere good. It's time to get my art life in order.

6. Get Rid of Stuff. This has been an ongoing process, but it's really time to let go. I don't know what holding on to every card I have ever received does for me, but I think it's time to move on from trinkets and heart erasers from the fifth grade. I just get so sentimental with every little thing when truthfully, it's my friendships and family that are far more important. If my house were to burn down, it shouldn't matter because I have friends (and renter's insurance).

And because we as humans not only organize time linearly but we also are superstitious, I can't end with just 6 resolutions:

7. Get Organized. This one kind of relates to #4 and #6, but seriously, folks, it's time to keep a planner for real. None of this panic and anxiety because I didn't have my schedule straight. It's time, once again, to at least pretend I'm an adult.

Happy (productive and exciting) New Year!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Id & ego

Apparently people are quitting Facebook in droves. But people are joining ole FB in droves, too. It's just that the quitters live in the US and the newbies live in developing nations, especially in South America. (And I guess this isn't that new, as the NYTimes attests.) One of the anecdotes that the first article offers is about a young man who was in an elevator with a woman who he had never personally met, but about whom he knew much: where she was from, whose sister she was, and where she had last vacationed. Another story told of a woman who felt like she was in touch with everyone even though she had been communicating solely via social media. Both left the site for good. So all this got me thinking (in the spirit of Ms. Carrie Bradshaw as she sat down at her ancient Mac): why don't I quit Facebook?

Before I tackle the why quit question, I think I should start with why I like it. It is great to keep in touch with those friends that I don't get to see often, especially the ones in far flung countries like Spain and Peru. It's great to see pictures of my friends' kids, whose childhoods I'll likely miss. It's fascinating to see what So-and-so from 1991 is doing today, and what music she listens to. It's great to keep abreast of my friends' interests and blogs and music and thoughts and ideas.

But there's another reason that I like Facebook. (This is where I get a little bit uncomfortable because it's kind of like looking in a dark, demented mirror.) Truth be told, I like the validation: that people agree with my politics, my humor, my activities, my music. Do I have something witty to say about Rick Perry? Did I unearth that weird YouTube gem? Am I attuned to current events? Is that music video really as good as I thought it was? When I thought about removing my profile, I immediately thought about getting zero likes. What would my life be like without that constant validation? Well, for one thing, it would likely make me appreciate real live validations much more (that whole face to face communication thing). It also made me think of the ways that children seem to be coddled as of late - they're never wrong, they never fail, they can't ever fall. And I think that part of that stems from the constant hypes that they receive: you are smart, you are pretty, I like your Facebook post about your cat puking this morning. And then I thought: life is hard. Sometimes people don't like you or don't like what you have to say, and that's OK as long as that distaste is expressed respectfully (no punching, please). Isn't it good for us to experience that? The constant mediation of daily activities and deep-seated politics and values removes a sense of reality and a sense of place: who is my audience? Why do I filter? Why do I care?

This long look into the dark mirror is embarrassing and telling and I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it. According to AA, awareness is half the battle (or at least a really fundamental step); is that good enough? And yet I feel like I'm copping out, abusing my new-found awareness retreating into denial. But isn't that what the internet is all about? Instant information and ME ME ME ME ME? I have a blog for crying out loud. It was originally intended to inform friends and family about goings on in Peru but it has evolved (devolved?) into a Kathryn-shaped something.