29 and 2/365ths

Well, it has come and gone: another birthday, another birthday weekend (I have a knack for extending the birthday celebrations for a long time), and another crisis. Although I must admit that the actual age-turning was rather anti-climactic. I remember having a tough time with 27. And then 28 didn't really count because it was in another language (and veinte-ocho doesn't have the same ring as twenty-eight). And so I was kind of expecting a WHOA! 29! But really it hasn't impacted me at all. Maybe I was ready for it? I am looking forward to 30 because the 20s have been generally rough. The only really good ones were 20, 21, 24, and 25. The rest were just hard. But here we go anyway!

I had a wonderful weekend in Columbus. I got to blow glass with Kami, talk for hours with Allison, Erica, Arlie, and Anne, drink wine with Jody and Jaye, eat with my brother and my dad and Joan, and be in cold weather and not die. (Cold weather doesn't help my Reynaud's...bad circulation in my hands and feet. It hurts a lot.) And I partook in several of these activities with several people...the wine was not only with Jody, and the talking was not just with the 702 girls (we all lived together at 702 E. Wooster back in Bowling Green). It was just wonderful.















And then I got back to Austin (and to this glorious weather, thank goodness!) where I had a lovely birthday dinner with Genevieve, Sonia, Karla, and Anita followed by lots of cake and beer with just about everyone. It was a terrific time. I really enjoyed myself. I felt really loved. And I know that I am!

Perfectionism

So here I am, head to head with perfectionism once again. This is everyone's struggle (well, for sure anyone who is in the remarkably self-esteem debilitating field of academia) and it is taking its toll. I just need to suck it up and WRITE.

Yesterday would have been my mom's 60th birthday (happy b-day, ma!) and I wonder what we would have done. Probably a nice dinner and a yummy, quadruple chocolate cake with her best friend, my brother, and me and maybe the neighbors, too. Genevieve asked if I would have gone up there, but I don't think I would be down here if she were still here. Kind of like choose-your-own-adventure, who know what could have or should have or would have happened.

And I'm almost the big 2-9. Not quite 30, but closer than ever. I finally feel about 23 or so, which is a big leap from my oft felt 17. And everyone's married with kids... As Michael said when I told him I would be getting a cell phone (one of these days soon!), "Satan? Yes, you might want to turn the thermostat up a bit. It'll be freezing over pretty soon down there."

Anyway, I'm getting ready for Peru (mentally more than anything), getting ready for my birthday (emotionally), getting ready for Columbus on Thursday (in every way), getting ready for a fellowship app (academically), and getting ready to finish out another Tuesday. Hooray for Tuesdays! Every week there's a new one and it's hopefully better than the last. I'm the world's worst philosopher.

And here's Sparky: (I decided to quit fighting it and let the Curly Sue take over)

Ticket to Ride

So I just bought my ticket to go back to Iquitos for a whopping 31 days. From December 15 to January 14, I'll be kicking it in my old territory and here are some fears / reservations I have about this trip.
1. That there will be drama. All the drama from this past year is enough to make me never want drama again in my life. I don't want to deal with any of that crap. I prefer the non-dramatic way of life.

2. That I won't get enough dissertation work done. It's so hard to get stuff done there in general, let alone sitting down in a quiet place to get actual work done.

3. That I won't get the follow-up research done to the degree I need it to be done.

4. That I'll be overwhelmed by sadness at being in Iquitos without Victor (a good friend who recently committed suicide). I just can't imagine life there without him - we spoke nearly every day for half a year.

5. That I'll get overwhelmed by constant performing - there are some weddings, a few holiday concerts, and a mass or two that I'll surely have to play, taking more time from work. But I do have to spend time with friends, right?

And some things that excite me about this coming trip:
1. That I will have learned to say no to drama.

2. That I'll get some great research in.

3. To see my wonderful people there!

4. My motorcycle. Period.

5. To play with Explosion again. Woo-hoo!

So here we go again. This is a very finite trip - just a month. The whole thing will fly by so quickly, and who knows when I'll get another chance to get down there, so I need to take advantage of it! Here we go again!

Fall Friends

Well, the stress level as of late has been rather elevated. First it was preparing everything in preparation for the conference (getting schoolwork finished and out of the way, etc.), then it was the actual conference (mentally and physically exhausting), then it was a visit from my good friend Iñaki from Spain (stressful only in that it was back-to-back with the conference), and now a long Saturday at the Paper Place (did you know that it's Christmas already?), followed by maybe some dissertation writing (which I haven't done in over a week and a half). So a bit stressed out. But I did hot yoga last night with my friend Karla, and that felt great (especially since part of my stress has come from the fact that I haven't been able to run in two weeks due to a stressed IT band in my hip). I HATE not being able to run. It really kills me.

Columbus was great, although exhausting, for a few reasons. The biggest one was that I got to see the following wonderful people:
My dad
My brother
Erika, my brother's girlfriend
My best friend, Allison and her little boy Lucas
My dear friend Erica and her little girl Giovanna
Dan Sharp
Emily Pinkerton
The Clan from BGSU (including Mary Natvig and Carol Hess)

It was such a joy to see all of them. I was invigorated by encouraging friendships. And equally invigorating was the crisp, fall weather that yielded photos like this one:




















And, of course, Halloween. This year's was especially great because I wasn't here last year for Halloween and also my good friend Inaki was here. We had lots of fun!