Interwebs

I don't have a smart phone not because I'm a Luddite but because I know myself: I am easily distracted, I have a hard time prioritizing things, and I have too many interests. I know that smart phones help when you're lost, or when you must have information at your fingertips immediately or when all of the sudden you're next to Willie Nelson in the checkout line at Whole Foods and you need a quick picture, but I am willing to sacrifice all of those things for my personal sanity.

I'm starting to think that I should swear off the internet, too. There is just SO MUCH information out there, and I want to know and understand a big chunk of it. The internet makes me want to write down every little thing (check out this artist, look up that new policy, find those pictures, discover this scholar). I don't know where to direct my energy, much like being unable to decide whether to throw out an old bill or not. Keep it? File it? Scan it? Burn it? What? Basically, it's extremely overwhelming, reduces my short term memory substantially, curbs my ability to focus for long periods of time, and frustrates me. I can't wrap my head around all that's out there, and I can't seem to prioritize between URGENT and PRIORITY and just INTERESTING. 

It's similar to when I was about 10 and realized while standing smack dab in the middle of a beautiful library that I would not only never be able to read all the books in that library, but that every library is different, which meant that I would never be able to read all the books in the world, which just seemed like a horrible fate: how can I learn everything if I can't actually learn everything? I had to swear off libraries for a whole summer because I got strange panic attacks every time I entered one. Sounds ridiculous, I know, but that's how wacky my mind is. I don't know if I'm alone in these situations, but I feel like the internet is just an extension of that library: an endless cavern of information and knowledge that I can't possibly process. 

Clearly, I have chosen a career path where I need to use the internet. Not only do I need to use it, but I am actually charged, to an extent, with populating it with more information to overwhelm others. Do most people get this overwhelmed at the prospect of facing the interwebs? Am I the only nutcase who can't seem to navigate them without heart palpitations and brain overload? 

My answer? GACK. (And yes, I note the irony that I have chosen to discuss this in a digital diary format that no one but me reads. I'm basically typing to myself.)