Choices

Well, I’ve been back for a week now, and things are going OK. It’s so weird how one morning you’re in Peru, shooting the bull in Spanish, drinking papaya juice and eating humitas (kind of like corn tomales) and then just seven hours later, you’re jostling with people of all shapes and sizes in Houston. In some senses, it feels like I was never even there. And yet I can see the remnants of the trip: some physical, like my tan and calluses from my motorcycle; some emotional, like me missing my friends and family there; and some philosophical, like me just thinking too much about life in Peru and the occasional daydream about living there longer, even though I don’t really want to.

A few things hit me when I was there this trip. First of all, how normal things can seem. One evening, I left my friend Wendy’s house to go home, and it just seemed so ridiculously natural and normal to hop on my motorcycle, run a few red lights, stop for a quick hamburger and roll on home in the evening sprinkle as Mother Nature geared up for a storm. It’s so normal to fall asleep to the soft rain on the thatch roof, to wake up to the hustle and bustle of the lumber yard and the dogs frantically seeking attention before the day begins. Just…normal. Crazy, huh?

It also hit me the importance of choice. I choose who will be my friend. As in, I choose who will NOT be my friend, and I don’t need to feel badly about that. There are a few people who took advantage of me in different ways when I lived there, and I just didn’t call them back. Or I just told them straight up: NO. And that was pretty empowering.

I learned how difficult perfectionism is for me, no matter what. I can’t expect to be cured; this will be an ongoing battle until I die. Alas…

My last week was filled with neat things, from playing with Explosión to a press conference with the same group (how exciting!) to ceviche with Mario, a long run out in the jungle, a wonderful bath in the river, complete with soap and shampoo, beers with friends, and interviews corroborated by other people. There was beach in Lima, and especially folk music in Barranco. That was terrific. Silvio, Violeta, Cat Stevens…

I wish I had kept up with the blog more, but general craziness prohibited regular updates. But know this: I have Grown and Changed. And I am glad for it. This trip was terrific – even the sad lunch in the cemetery for Victor was good in its way, allowing for some closure.

And on that note, let us celebrate today the possibility of CHOICE on the anniversary of Roe v, Wade. I can choose, and that is an important marker of my freedom. Many women in Peru are hardly given that opportunity, or if they have access, they have no money to make it happen and another starving baby is born into a life of hardship and illness. By the way, my seventeen year old friend Ana, who I counseled on the importance of safe sex, is now four months pregnant and with two STDs. Way to end this on a happy note, right?

OK, go see the movie Juno. That’ll put you in a great mood! Terrific in just about every way.